Darkness to Your Light
by bookworm1517
Summary: Set after season 2 episode 12. Merlin contemplates his actions in poisoning Morgana with some help from Gaius and Kilgharrah. Slightly AU since Merlin hasn't released the dragon. Written for the Mergana Prompt Party on Tumblr.


**AN:** **This is for the Mergana Prompt Party over on Tumblr this week (you can search for the merganapromptparty tag). The prompt was "darkness to your light" so this is my interpretation. I'm not sure I like how this turned out... But I hope you enjoy!**

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Day Two Prompt: Darkness to Your Light

Kilgharrah's words echo through Merlin's mind as he paces his small room. He'd warned him of Morgana's treachery, warned him of what would happen should he fail... Camelot had been saved from Morgause and her foul schemes, but Morgana was gone now. And it was his fault. He'd poisoned her, refused to give her the chance she deserved.

Bile rose in his throat and he sat on the edge of the bed, head in hands, trying to get his ragged breathing under control.

It was his fault. All of it.

Maybe if he'd told Arthur the truth or told Morgana she wasn't alone or if he had just found another way…

But he hadn't, he'd screwed up and now everything seemed to be falling apart. Sure Camelot was safe, but no one was happy. Hell, he should have let Morgause and Morgana kill Uther. After all, the bastard was the reason he couldn't be open about his magic. Maybe then Morgana would still be here, and Arthur would be king.

Now Morgana was gone and it was all his fault. The hole inside him ached. He hadn't expected it to hurt so much; he didn't really known Morgana as more than a friend, barely more than an acquaintance.

_But you loved her_, a voice in the back of his mind whispered.

He snorted softly; even if that were true he'd been the one to mess everything up. How could they ever move past this? She'd betrayed Camelot and he'd betrayed her…

He lifted his head at the soft knock on the door and watched as Gaius entered.

"Merlin," the older man said softly. "We won, why are you in here moping?"

Gaius took an involuntary step back when Merlin's eyes turned on him, filled with harsh pain and regret.

"What is it?" Gaius asked.

Merlin hung his head, "We may have won, but look what it cost!"

A long silence hung in the air between them before Gaius spoke again, "Morgana?"

Merlin grasped his hair in a tight fist, "I poisoned her. I poisoned her and I couldn't find the antidote. It was the only way to stop Morgause but now Morgause has her and she hates me."

"You don't know that she hates you," Gaius said placatingly. "You did what you had to do, Merlin."

"That doesn't make it better!"

Gaius shook his head, "No, but someday it might. And as for right now, what more could you be doing? You've already saved Camelot once, what more is there for you to do at the moment? It's okay to rest, Merlin."

Merlin shook his head, "I have to do something. I can't leave Morgana in Morgause's hands. I have to make sure she knows…"

"Knows what?" came the gentle prompt.

"Knows that I believe in her, that I know she's good," Merlin said after a pause, tone carefully measured. He couldn't exactly tell Gaius that he loved her.

Gaius studied the young man for a moment before turning around with a sigh, "Then you may as well go after her, Merlin. Obviously you won't have any peace until you've set things right."

Merlin looked at his mentor in shock, since when did Gaius tell him to do foolish things.

"Although you should probably take Arthur with you," Gaius called over his shoulder.

Merlin found himself sneaking through the halls of the castle, moving steadily downwards, down to visit Kilgharrah.

"Are you happy?" Merlin yelled when he reached the cavern. "Morgana may be dead!"

Loud wing beats signal the dragon's arrival as he sits upon his perch across from Merlin.

"I wouldn't say happy," Kilgharrah practically purred. "But if the witch is no longer a problem then I certainly won't complain."

Merlin nearly screamed in frustration, "She's not bad, but she will be if I don't do something."

The dragon frowned, "Merlin, you're destiny is to protect Arthur and help him unite the lands of Albion. The witch will only hinder you, let her die."

Merlin glared, "She will be a great sorceress, how can I let her die if she will prove to be a valuable ally in the future?"

Kilgharrah shook his head, "Never an ally. I have seen the future young warlock, and Morgana does nothing but oppose you and Arthur. Going after her will change nothing."

"I don't believe you," Merlin called, for some reason doubting the truth of the dragon's words. "You're hiding something from me!"

Kilgharrah sighed, "Young warlock, if you go after Morgana you may succeed in returning her to Camelot, but that does not mean she will become your ally. She poses too much danger to let her live. Do not go after her."

"Why do you hate Morgana so?" Merlin asked.

"She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love. This I have seen."

Merlin shook his head slowly, "That may be, but what is light without dark, love without hatred. You say Arthur and I are two sides of the same coin, but perhaps Morgana and I are as well…"

"You have already made up your mind, young warlock," Kilgharrah said as he raises his wings. "Do as you will, but you should heed my warnings."

Merlin walked from the cavern, determined to find Morgana and change the future. She may be darkness and hatred, but she was also light and love, he'd seen that when he'd first met her. Then, he'd been the one full of darkness and hatred, angry at a world that had never given him a chance.

_How the times change_, he mused as he walked to Arthur's room. He would find Morgana; he would show her that she wasn't alone. After all, opposites needed each other to exist.

A half-asleep Arthur answered the door, glaring at his manservant, "Merlin, what is it now?"

Merlin marched into the room and began packing a bag for his master, "We're going after Morgana."

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**AN: Hope you liked it! Please leave me a review, I like hearing from readers :)**


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